Tombstone.
I walked down the street, looking around and trying to remember things. I looked at the bank and saw a woman in front of it, then looked at the other lady there.
“Hello Nat. I missed you,” the one lady said.
“Hi ma’am. I’m sorry... Ma says I fell off her horse,” I said as I looked over at her. “She says I don’t remember nothin’.”
“Really? I sorry, I did not know. Well my dear, we were good friends.”
“What’s your name? I guess I know you…” I frowned and nodded.
“I am Bree.”
“Bree... That’s good name.” I looked at the other lady with the hat and asked, “Did I know you too?”
The other lady didn’t say anything and I shrugged as Miss Bree locked the bank and headed home. I walked down the street and waved to Jeff and Aspen who were fishing at the pond by the orphanage.
“Are you better now?” Aspen asked.
“I still don’t remember much but... I’m remembering books... when I read em. So maybe I’ll be okay soon.”
“Good Natalie soon you will remember,” Aspen said as Jeff gave her his seat to fish at.
I felt a bit awkward and they asked if I wanted to join them fishing. “Nu uh. Never fished, or maybe I have, I dunno.”
“Fishin’s good for thinkin’ Nat,” Aspen said. “And I love the water.”
“Nah I don’t wanna get in your way. You guys have fun,” I said, not wanting to interrupt.
“What way?” Aspen asked.
“Well okay Natalie,” Jeff said. “But fishing is fun!”
“It is fun specially if i get to git Jeff wet!” Aspen said and splashed Jeff.
“Hey watch it!” Jeff exclaimed.
“Are ya sure there’s fish in there?” I asked as I looked in the water.
“Well I know there is on down the way by my house. I caught bunches there,” Aspen replied.
“Well I seen some fish in here once. Little ones,” Jeff said.
“I bet the big ones is layin in the mud. Way down deep.”
“You think so? Hmm…” Jeff said. “Maybe they only come up when they are hungry.”
“It sounded good right?” Aspen giggled. “I no know much ‘bout fishies.”
“I’m gonna go for a walk I think. See if I can remember anything,” I said.
“Be careful Natalie. Go by the school,” Aspen said.
“I will. Yeah that’s a good idea.”
“Yeah and go in the library,” Jeff said.
“I did go in the library. That’s where I read Huck Finn And I remembered the story.”
“You do?”
“Yeah when I read the book... well when I touched it... I remembered.”
“You touched the book and remembered?” Aspen asked.
“Yeah.. it was the place I think... it felt safe... for some reason.”
“Did you see Jeffy’s black eye Natalie?” Aspen asked.
“He’s lookin’ at the water.” I said, shaking my head.
“See?” Jeff looked back at me.
“What happened??” I blinked.
“Mildew gave it to me. He punched me right good in the eye. And it was fun.”
“Wow. What for? That’s no good.”
“Well we was boxing in the ring where the big guys’ box,” Jeff said. “And me and mildew got to box too.”
“I wish I coulda been there to take pictures,” Aspen said.
“Well I not think no one got any.”
“Well I’m gonna go to wander.” I waved to them and wandered down the street towards the library and school.
Benson.
I saw a man on a big horse by the stables and stopped, kind of scared of the big animals.
“Mister?” I asked him.
“Hello Natalie.. I heard you got hurt on your trip,” he said.
“Ma said I fell off the horse. I don’t remember nothin’. Are they…?” I looked over at the horses nervously.
He sat down on the ground and looked at me and said, “Well I am your uncle Irish.. and yes they are penned tight.”
“Ma said you’re a doctor too….” I sighed and walked over to him. “I sorry... I just... I don’t remember anythin’.”
“That’s fine sweetie. It will come back… slowly…”
“How…?” I asked, sitting down with him nervously.
“Well the brain is a funny thing and when it gets hurt it takes a kind of vacation till it is better…”
“Can I do anythin’? I feel like I’m scared about the horses. Cause they…”
“Not really and the horse fear will be there if you don’t try again when your better.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as he pulled out a crate for me to sit on and I got comfortable. “I started to remember stories... when I was in the library… I touched the books.. I felt safe there... For some reason..”
“What has happened is your brain is telling you that your afraid because they are what caused you to be hurt.”
“Yeah…” I nodded to him. “But how do I fix it?”
“With time sweetie… and I have something that may help.”
“You do?”
“Mmhmm.” Uncle Irish got up and walked to the stall, putting a halter on the new baby horse, and led the horse out. I started to get more scared and stood, backing up. He started to pet the horse gently and then smiled at me. “See he is really cute and very small.”
“He’s gonna make me fall off.” I shook my head.
“He is too young to ride but you can pet him…”
“I dunno…”
“Well maybe just a small pet on his nose…” He smiled.
“Uncle... Irish....? Are you sure?” I looked at him.
“I won’t let go promise..”
I walked over closer to him and looked from him to the horse, feeling unsure. I stepped over a little and said, “I dunno.. Did I used to like horses? Jimmy works with him he said. But I scared to go to the stables there.”
“Yes you used to ride your pony all over sweetie.”
“And touching the horse is gonna help?”
“I think so sweetie.”
I reached out to take his hand first and he held my hand. “You pet it first. With my hand over yours.”
Uncle Irish smiled and took my hand, slowly petting the horse’s nose and forehead. “See, he likes it…”
I felt shaky and slowly pet the horse as Uncle Irish slowly took his hand out from under mine. I pet the horse slowly and kept my eyes on my uncle.
“You still okay, Nat?” He asked.
“I’m not gonna ride it… It’s scary. It... it went black.”
“No he is still way to little to ride..he was just born this morning..” He smiled.
“When w.... When we was riding… It was... snowing…” I said slowly as I continued to pet the horse. “There were... trees.... Jimmy was... beside me.”
“Natalie… don’t try to hard it will come back to you..”
I hid against Uncle Irish’s chest, starting to feel the tears come. He hugged me tight, sitting down with me as I continued to cry. “It was so... scary…”
“I know it was sweetie..” He said softly. “He is new breed Auntie and I are trying to breed… Called Drum…”
“Drum…? What’s Auntie’s name?”
“Yes it a type of work horse for pulling wagons… Enola…”
“Oh…”
“Let me put him back with his mommy so he doesn’t get hungry,” Uncle Irish said and put the pony away and went back to holding me when he was done.
“When we was riding… It started not snow but then…. Then there was lots of snow. We were... we tried to…” I looked at him nervously. “We tried... to get... home… But then….” I cried against him.
Uncle Irish pat my back slowly and softly. “It is okay, sweetie…”
“Then there was... something on the... ground… That’s where it..... gets fuzzy.” I cried against him, remembering how scared I was, but not much else.
“Well that is better than nothing sweetie… see told you would get better… I will get better as your brain get better and not so hurt…”
“How come I can read stories?”
“I don’t know why it happens but the spirits work in strange ways.”
“Like Huck Finn? I was in the library... And I touched the books... And I remembered the stories.”
“Because it the type of hurt your brain has only shut the memory of the hurt off..”
“So it remembers being safe? Like in the library?”
“Yes and your mommy and daddy and Jimmi .. and the library.”
“I didn’t remember pa and ma and Jimmy... But I guess I startin’ to... cause it feels safe. There’s somethin’ familiar bout them…”
“Mmhmm…”
“Uncle Irish can I ask you a question?”
“Yes and if I can answer it I will.”
“Aspen said I liked Jeff.... but I tried to kiss Mill. But then Jimmy said I didn’t try to kiss no one. But... how come when I see em together… I feel weird?”
“Who, Jeff and Aspen?”
“It is because your growing up and it is normal for you to start to have feeling for boys.. and you have never liked Aspen much.. and have always liked Jeffery.”
“Oh… I didn’t like Aspen much?”
“Not really but I think that is because she likes Jeffery.. that is called jealousy.”
“I’m jealous? Cause Aspen likes Jeff too?”
“Yes sweetie.” He smiled.
“Well they always together.”
“Yes I know.. but you are always busy too like Jeffery is.”
“I am?”
“Yes your a reporter for the Bee..”
“Well yeah... I found that notebook… I gave him a couple interviews for this weekend cause Jimmy said it was due tomorrow. And they was written already. But I didn’t remember writin’ em.”
“You will hun..just keep reading them.. and it will help.”
“What about... What about before I came to Tombstone…? How do I remember that?”
“No about the people here and your past will come back in time… Do you need for me to walk you home..?”
“I guess so. Ma says it ain’t always safe. People don’t like us so much she said. How come, uncle Irish?”
“No it isn’t always. Because there are some bad people that live around town.”
“Like mean ol Mister Lot?”
“Yes unfortunately… like Mister Lot..”
“Let’s go home,” I said and took his hand as he led me home.
***
Bisbee.
I was sitting at my desk tonight reading my articles from the paper, trying to remember, when Jimmy walked upstairs.
“Hey big sister. What ya readin?”
“I’m tryin’ to remember writin’ these articles but I can’t.” I looked over at him with a smile. “But it’s helping me to learn ’bout people in town at least.”
“Awww, what articles is that? Them thangs you wrote for Jeffery and the paper?”
“Yeah... the ones bout the interviews. I gave him a couple for this week ’cause you said they was due tomorrow.”
“Well yeah, he wants them on time otherwise he don’t have nuttin to put in his paper. Then we be readin nuttin but whatever he find.”
“Yeah… I talked with Uncle Irish today. I even touched a horse.”
“Oh wow… really? How did it go?”
“It was real scary Jimmy... I remember the... snow... and the thing on the ground that made my horse scared... Then it goes black. Can you tell me... ’bout the accident? I know you was ridin’ right beside me.”
“Well you know sis, if you too fraid of horses, we can maybe get you on dem hump back camels like Ali Baba road in the desert.”
“You ain’t helpin’.” I frowned at him.
“I just sayin, there’s ways around ridin horses.”
“Uncle Irish says I liked ridin’ em a lot. Maybe you could help me get over my fear of ’em too..”
“Well you did. You even have one of your own.”
“I do? Maybe you could show her to me?”
“Uh huh. Her name is Buttercup. Or maybe its Velvet...I just know its a female horse.”
“You know... Uncle Irish said that I remember the good stuff but not the bad... like I feel safe around ’em..”
“Are you sure you want to see her Natalie?”
“Maybe... maybe if I could see her.. I’d feel safe?”
“Well I wouldn’t let anything happen to ya sis. I take care horses at the stable.”
“Come on, let’s go. I gotta do this sooner or later.” I nodded and walked downstairs with him.
Tombstone.
We walked over to the O.K. Coral and I took a deep breath, looking over at Jimmy as he asked, “Are you sure about this sis?”
I shook my head and said, “Maybe we oughta walk around a bit more first.” Jimmy took my hand and we walked around with him. “We went there before... didn’t we?” I asked as we walked past a building that had saloon doors.
“We sure did. We used to go in there for rootbeers and dancing with ma and pa.”
“Wanna go in?” I asked.
“Sure… sounds like maybe Aspen and others are inside.”
We walked into the saloon and Jeff and Aspen were talking about rum or something. There was a man behind the bar and I looked over at Jimmy, not sure I trusted the man or not, and he just shrugged. I hesitated when I saw Aspen and Jeff together, since what Uncle Irish told me, and just stayed quiet.
Jeff told Aspen they were gonna make a run for it and I asked what they were doin’, but they said they were just talking. Jimmy asked Mr. Ben for some rootbeers and then a woman talked outside, making me shudder. I recognized the voice, and got afraid, but I didn’t know why. I reached for Jimmy’s hand and Jimmy told us to be quiet and hide around the bar. Jimmy whispered for me to come to the back room with him and we walked back there as I was really confused.
“Jimmy? Who’s that lady outside?” I asked him when we were alone.
“That, sis, is one of the bad people after ma and pa. She one of the reasons we went to Canada.”
“She is? What she do?”
“Uh huh. She like shootin people. Ma and Pa say she the one who burnt ma’s office.”
I blinked at him and then ran outside, feeling an ounce of courage from nowhere in particular as Jimmy called after me, “Natalie!!” I saw the lady up close and then shuddered at the saloon doors, nervous.
“Natalie… stay in here with jeffery and Aspen… I try go get us safely outta here,” Jimmy said.
“Jeff what you two really doin? Why you keepin it secret from us too?” I asked Jeff and Aspen as they kept working behind the bar.
“Okay Aspen, this is last load so run fast ok,” Jeff said.
“Okay.” Aspen nodded to him.
“Go,” Jeff said and they ran out of the saloon. I sighed, feeling invisible, and saw Jimmy walking right out to the grownups outside.
“Jimmy!” I called out to him nervously.
“Sis, let’s go. They too busy talkin… they won’t see us,” Jimmy said.
“Bro if it ain’t safe for me to go out there how come it’s safe for you?” I asked him.
“They didn’t notice me… we can slip by,” Jimmy told me.
“I am always looking Jimmy,” one of the ladies said.
“None of em probably even care we here,” I muttered. “Might as well be invisible.”
“Then let’s get outta here,” Jimmy said and we walked out of the saloon and stuck his tongue at the lady who’d made me scared.
I looked up at the man who’d been behind the counter and said, “Mister... that mean lady over there… She mean to ma and pa but I don’t know why or how. I lost my memory see…”
“Ya don’t gotta tell me,” he said.
“But we might need yer help. Ta keep us safe.”
“Well she the reason they make wagons covered is all I know.”
“Natalie lets get outta here… I don’t like that witch over there,” Jimmy said and I blinked at him.
“Does pa let ya use words like that?”
“What?”
“Witch.”
“That’s what it sounded like he called her was witch,” Jimmy said.
The others around us were talking about Mr. Lot and I frowned, shouting out to Jeff. “Jeff! Jeff you be careful by them ladies! Mr Lot mean old man who hurt ma and pa!”
“Which two mean ol ladies?” One of the ladies asked.
“You stop saying mr Lot is mean!” Jeff said.
“Natalie! Mind your words!” The other lady scolded.
“He burned ma’s office!” I cried. “He shot pa! He... He ruined everything!!!! He made us go to Canada and he made us go there away from here and then I got hurt! It’s all his fault!!!!”
“He is what my pa calls a bass turd,” Jimmy said.
“Children, such horrid creatures don’t you think, Downy?” The other lady asked.
“Jimmy…” I blinked then as I started to pick up a rock and threw it on the ground. The rock. Downy. That lady. She just called her Downy…” I trembled, but more with anger this time.
“You think I could hit her from here sis?” Jimmy whispered to me.
“Hey kids you all want to give that dog a flea bath?” One of the ladies asked.
“You sure we should” I asked Jimmy.
“Maybe ma and pa say we shouldn’t. We get in trouble.”
“Yea…” I nodded and threw the rocks angrily at nothing.
“Yer gonna hit someone with those rocks Nat,” Aspen said.
“Like that witchy lady over there hit me????” I shouted suddenly, remembering. I reached for Jimmy’s hand for support and said, “I was standin’... at the ... down there... somethin hit me.”
“Nat and Jimmy, I like ya’ll and all but if you hit miss Ivy with that rock I sure won’t like ya no more,” Jeff said.
“I ’member goin to the... I remember…” I said. “I ain’t thrown em at anythin’, just at the ground.”
“You children stop throwing those rocks!” Miss Ivy said to us.
“I wasn’t aiming fer nobody Jeffery. It just looked that way,” Jimmy said.
“Okay, “Jeff said.
“And Jeff it’s like ya’ll didn’t miss us anyway. You’re just doin your secret errands for the guy that ruined ma’s office,” I told him. “Like nothin’ happened. I’ll be the first ta say it. I missed ya jeff!!!” I shouted after him.
“No, I am not your mother or your father, but I am sure I can spank you harder than they ever could,” Miss Ivy said.
“And I missed Aspen! And I….” I cried. “I jes… I want things to go back,” I said and kicked at a post.
“You try Miss Ivy and I will kick ya where it hurt,” Jimmy said.
“I missed you too, Nat,” Aspen said.
“Ya did?” I turned to her.
“Of course I did,” Aspen said and gave me a big hug.
“Then why ya helpin’ the man who sent us away?” I asked her.
“Helpin’ who?”
“Young man! I said mind your manners!” Miss Ivy scolded Jimmy.
“Mr. Lot,” I said and clung to Aspen.
“Natalie maybe you and your brother needs to watch you words with adults around. And mind your manners regardless who did what,” the other lady said.
“We was playin pirates. Aint’ helpin no one,” Aspen said.
“Ya sure? Jeff said mission was complete,” I said and ignored the lady talking.
“It sure was Natalie. I got done what I wanted, yup,” Jeff said.
“Well… Then ya doin missions for Lot,” I said.
“Then tell Mr. Lot and his bunch to leave our ma and pa alone,” Jimmy said.
“We be kids memember.. we play games,” Aspen said.
“I would jump a mountian for mr Lot,” Jeff said.
“Mr Lot made us go away, Aspen,” I told them.
“You might not like him. I do,” Jeff said.
“He made us run to Canada. Cause ma wanted us safe. That’s what she told me. But she got a job here and so does pa and we got frieinds here…”
“I wish Mr. Lot would make them go away again, bratty children,” Miss Ivy muttered.
“I can’t say he did or he didn’t but he ain’t never done nothing bad to me nor has Miss Ivy,” Aspen said.
“Then you take that up with mr Lot,” Jeff said.
“I jes…” I looked down.
“Nat, I ain’t takin’ no sides,” Aspen said as she held up her hands.
“Felt like ya were is all…”
“Natalie, you comin? I goin get my bb gun,” Jimmy said.
“I ain’t on no one’s side, but if I had to be then… We wouldn’t be speakin’ now. I like ya’ll,” Jeff said.
“No gun,” I said and looked at Jimmy. I looked back at Jeff, feeling a little silly. “Ya do Jeff?”
“Well sure I do.”
“I jes…”
“I ain’t Nat,” Aspen said.
“Jeffery I like you too...but we gots differences on people we like I guess,” Jimmy said.
“I’m sorry... everythin’s all jes so confusin’,” I said and looked at my brother.
“I ain’t got no grudges against no one here,” Aspen said.
“I jes want to remember.”
“Well the big folks sometimes they not like some kids it is just how it is,” Jeff said.
“We kids gotta stick together is all Jeff. And we know that some adults ain’t nice all the time to other ones.”
“Yeah,” Aspen said and nodded.
“And when it’s our own ma and pa… Ya gotta understand that.”
“Course I do,” Jeff said.
“Well then… That’s good I guess. I weren’t mad at ya Jeff, jes worried for ya. That’s all.”
“Okay Natalie,” Jeff said.
“Aspen... you’re my only friend who’s a girl here. Ya know that?” I said and hugged her tight. I looked over at Jimmy and asked, “Why you so quiet?”
“It’s okay Nat, we be tough.” Aspen flexed her muscles.
“Natalie stay here ok. I wanna go say somthin to them folks down there,” Jimmy said.
“Be careful, Jimmy,” I told him and he walked down the street. I still felt a bit jealous of them but stayed quiet and watched Jimmy carefully. Jimmy dropped rocks on the ground by the woman and then walked back to me with a frown. Aspen headed back to the orphanage and Miss Ivy talked to Jeff about some pirate map thing and I sighed a bit.
“I was gonna apologize to Miss Ivy and Miss Downy. But they don’t seem to care. So left the rocks,” Jimmy said to a lady nearby. Miss Ivy glared at us and I shuddered as she passed by but didn’t know why.
I looked over at Jeff and asked him if we were okay and he said we are, and I told him I just wanted him to be safe ‘cause I cared about him. I watched them head off and kicked the post again, more mad at myself.
Jimmy put an arm around me and said, “It will be ok sis. Maybe we best be getting back home.”
I nodded quietly and just looked around, confused at what just happened, and we walked back home.
Bisbee.
We walked into the house and I picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it across the room at the wall. “Natalie! What was that for?” Jimmy exclaimed.
I was fuming though, and started to pace. “He thinks he can just…”
“Who thinks they can just what?”
“He thinks he could just…. And they… And… And we’re.. okay?? That’s all he says? We’re okay??”
“Natalie....you’re making no sense.”
“Jeff… She’s... and they’re… and..” I started, but Jimmy laughed. “Jimmy… Dang it, what happened tonight? I got so upset…”
“Sis, I don’t know what to tell you… it’s just Jeffery… don’t get so upset over it… he’s a boy.”
“Yeah but... Somethin’ bout Downy… It reminded me bout somethin’. Like she hit me with somethin’. But I don’t remember.”
“I don’t know sis… I don’t remember you sayin anything bout her hittin you… ma and pa never said nuttin either.”
“I dunno. I just… It makes me so mad. They go off and do their missions for Mister Lot and don’t tell us nothin’ about it like we on the other side. And then he says he ain’t pickin’ sides.”
“I dunno sis… but I think they was up to somethin tonight...fer Miss Downy and Ivy.”
“We gotta just walk away whenever we see those ladies, Jimmy. From now on. Let’s just walk away. Let’s go to bed, Jimmy. Before ma and pa get home.”
“Ok Natalie… yes cause I am so tired and ready to sleep.”
We walked upstairs and changed into our PJ’s and I looked over at him. “Hey Jimmy?”
“Yeah sis?”
“Did I name my teddybear?”
“I don’t think so sis. I don’t remember you ever calling it by a name.”
“That’s what pa said too.”
Jimmy came over and hugged me tight. “Good night sis. I love you big sister.”
“I’m sorry I got so mad tonight.” I hugged him tight.
“It’s okay sis… you are under a lot of stress right now.”
“Uh huh.. I jes wanna remember. We never did make it to see Velvet.”
“You will, I promise. No, we can do that tomorrow.”
“Okay… Jimmy?”
“Yes Sis?”
“What if I don’t?”
“What if you don’t what?”
“What if I don’t remember? I mean I’m startin’ to but…”
“You will, you just gotta believe.”
“I guess.. I can almost see the snow, Jimmy.”
“It will happen, I am sure of it… You have already come so far… it will get better.”
“Yeah... Guss I have,” I said and started to drift off to sleep.
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