Monday, January 18, 2016

February 7, 1901

Tombstone. 

I walked up to the schoolhouse this morning, seeing the words but not remembering the building. I pushed the door open and hoped I wasn’t late. 

“Hello Natalie!” The lady at the front greeted me. 

I looked around and I didn’t remember anyone in the room and sighed, shifting on my feet. “I ain’t too late, am I?” 

“Natalie, I am Paisley,” the teacher said. “No, Buster here just arrived as well Natalie.” 

“I sorry I don’t remember you…” I said. “I fell off a horse, ma said... and I… I don’t remember nothin’.” 

“It is ok Natalie. I remember you though,” Miss Paisley said. 

“Why don’tcha?” A boy asked. 

“Did I know you?” I looked over at the boy. 

“Girls sit on the side of the room with the bird,” Miss Paisley told me. “And boys sit on the other.” 

“How come?” I asked. 

“Yeah, you are my girlfriend,” the boy said and I blinked. 

“Girlfriend? I thought…” 

“You did know me,” Miss Paisley said and then looked at the boy. “Buster.. no lying please.” 

Jeff walked in then and Buster said he was sorry and I blushed beat red as I saw Jeff. I looked between the two boys as one sat on one side of the room and the other sat on the other side. “Well now what do I do?” 

“Buster... the side Jeffery sits on is where the boys sit. For now.. just sit down will do Nat,” Miss Paisley said. 

I looked confused but sad down beside Buster. “Why is it cuz the girls got COOTIES?” Buster asked. 
I looked over at him and whispered, “If we got cooties why we datin’?” 

“No, it is just how Mr. Finesmith runs the school,” Miss Paisley said. 

“I don’t want cooties,” Buster said. 

“Nat does not have cooties,” Miss Paisley said and I waved over to Jeff, who smiled and waved back. 

“Now, all of you will see in front of you a book.. Leave it closed for a moment,” Miss Paisley said. “It is a beginning reader that I had sent to me from back home. Buster, have you done any reading? Other than pictures?” 

“Um sure I knows to read...whatcha think I some GURL?” Buster looked from side to side. “I a good reader.” 

“I readed some, yes ma’am,” Jeff said. 

“Boys and girls read Buster..” Miss Paisley said. “Natalie?” 

“That’s not what Uncle David says,” Buster said. 

I glared at Buster and said, “Yes ma’am? I been readin’ lots since I got home. Seems stories are all I remember.” 

“Wonderful!” She exclaimed. 

“When I’m in the library I feel.... safe. When I touch the cover of a book I’ve read, I remember the story. I dunno why.” 

“Um Miss Paisley?” Buster asked. 

“Yes Buster?” Miss Paisley looked at him. 

“Iif in Natalie cants remember stuff how come she knows how to read?” Buster glared at me and said, “I think she fibbing.” 

“Since the three of you know reading these pages will go fast,” Miss Paisley said. “No... memories are a funny thing. I do not think she is lying Buster. She got hurt and it has effected some of them is all.. Reading is a skill. That seems well intact.”  

“I dunno why. I jes do.” I shrugged and frowned, looking down at the book in front of me. 

“But my Uncle says….” Buster started. 

“Look it does have pictures!” Jeff exclaimed. 

“Pictures? Can we open the book?” I asked. 

“So, on my chart here is the cover,” Miss Paisley said. “In a moment, yes. Jeffery, since you opened yours look at the cover next to you.” 

“Yes ma’am it is blue and orange,” Jeff said. 

“It says ‘McGuffey’s First Eclectic Reader’.” 

“Yes but… What does revised mean?” 

“It is a revised edition as they have put something new into this one.” 

“I think something is wrong with my book,” Buster said. 

“What is wrong with it?” Miss Paisley asked. 

“The words are too big. I dunno THESE ones.” 

“The first few does have long words. But flip till you see this page,” she said as she turned to the letters on a page. 

“That’s the alphabet!” I said, getting excitedly. 

“It sure is Nat!” 

“In print and cursive on the next page,” Miss Paisley said. “Well, it sounds like we need to do the alphabet with you Buster.. Each letter has a sound as well.” 

“It DOES?” Buster exclaimed. 

“You can also use this book to practice making letters on a slate,” Miss Paisley said. 

“What’s a slate anyways?” Jeff asked. 

“I know,” said Buster. 

“Remember what little hard tablets I had on the desk the last class? That is a slate tablet,” Miss Paisley explained.
“I knew THAT,” Buster said and I stuck my tongue out at him, and he stuck his out at me. 

“I will have them for you after class if you like,” Miss Paisley said. 

“Maybe I can write notes on it for the Bee. Then I won’t forget what to report ’bout. Right Jeff?” 

“Can I have one after class?” Jeff asked. 

“Now, here is the alphabet Buster…” Miss Paisley said the alphabet, slowly pointing to the letters in order. 

“You can WRITE too?” Buster looked at me and whispered. 

“Right Natalie,” Jeff said. 

“Guess I can.” I nodded to him.

“And Buster.. guess what? She’s a GIRL…” Miss Paisley grinned at me. 

“I’m twelve, Miss Paisley... That’s what ma says.” 

“Hmmph, so you say Uncle David is WRONG?” Buster exclaimed. 

“Course he is. Whoever he is.”

“And Buster here is what each letter sounds like…” Miss Paisley went on with the alphabet. 

“He AIN’T wrong… You take that back!” Buster exclaimed. 

“No, just needs to remember a few things is all. Never said he is wrong.” 

“Natalie did,” Buster stuck his tongue out at me. 

“He needs to remember girls can do things too is all,” Miss Paisley said. “Now, the next thing.. is to read!” 

“He says girls is goods for lots of stuff,” Buster said. 

“Yes! Fixing things! Think of all the women who are doctors in town. Judges! So many things girls and boys can do.” 

“Yeah and teachers!” Jeff said. 

Miss Paisley tried to get class back on topic, and talked about the letters. We talked about what colour items are and we read the book as it talked about dogs and the other words in the book. Buster had a hard time with it at first but eventually started to get it. 

“Nat what is your favorite book?” Miss Paisley asked. 

“Um…” I tried to think. 

“Can you describe something from it?” 

“Well... there was.... a little girl and she had a boy’s name… She had three sisters… And a mommy. And her daddy was um… Did they go on an adventure? They had not much... they was poor.” 

“Did they go on an adventure? Sometimes they have the best adventures.” 

“I trying to remember what else happens. Josephine... that was her name. They called her Jo. And uh…” 

“A pretty name. It sounds like the book Little Women.” 

“Yeah!! That’s it!!” I nodded and grinned wide. 

“How about you Jeffery?” 

“My favorite Book is Peter Rabbit,” Jeff said. “He almost gets kilt by the farmer cause he didn’t listen to his momma.” 

“I loved Peter Rabbit!” 

“It is my very favorite ever.” 

“I heard that one ’fore,” Buster said. 

We continued to talk about Peter Rabbit and Huck Finn and then Buster asked how come I remembered so much. I told him I only remembered things about books and little things about the accident. 

I started to remember something about mines and then reached for Jeff nervously. “I... somethin’... in the mine. Didn’t it? Jeff did I... did I hurt myself there?” 

“I don’t think so Natalie,” Jeff said. 

“Um my mom sent me to lives with Uncle David , does that mean she don’t like me?” Buster asked. 

“Is Uncle David really so bad?” I looked over at him. 

“She says she poor.” 

“No.. often it means they love you more than you think. They realize they can not care for you and another can,” Miss Paisley said. 

Miss Paisley asked me to cover the bird so I went and put the sheet over the cage like it was second nature. 

Miss Paisley dismissed class and then we ran outside. Buster wanted to play at the water so we ran over there but he busted his toe a little. We went to the bridge and the horses rode past us, and I got a little nervous. Buster looked over at me and said we had to pick some sticks that looked the same, but I was starting to remember more. 

“Buster… It was a big horse I was on. With.. with Uncle Josh. Jimmy was ridin’ with ma. But.. uncle Josh he..” 

“Natalie it’s… okay. You ain’t gots to rememebr the bads stuff.” 

“But dont’ I gotta remember everythin’? But don’t I gotta remember everythin’?” 

“What you gonna do with that stick?” 

We played a game where we dropped the sticks in the water and watched them go from one side of the bridge and under to the other. It was a lot of fun and we talked about school a bit and then Buster took me to his Aunt Meg and Uncle Dave’s house. It was real nice and he said they were out riding. 

“Natalie I was wrong I don’t think you has cooties.” 

“How come ya think that?” 

“Cuz you play games with me.” 

“Well... it’s nice to have someone to play with when Jimmy’s at the stables.” 

“Oh and I am 8 years old I think,” Buster said. 

“It’s just been real hard since I been home.. Since that... accident on the horse. I been tryin’ to remember stuff... Readin lots. I’m gonna start a journal I think.” 

“That’s writing isn’t it?” Buster asked. 

“Uh huh.” 

Buster showed me inside the house and there was a really good spot for reading. The view was real far and you could see all the way to Allen Street. 

“Welll.... you wanna walk with me back to my place? I shouldn’t go alone and I wanna show you.” 

“You mean you REMEMBER it?” 

“Well yeah cause Jimmy showed me our place after the accident. For some reason everythin’ I ever heard or saw after I fell... I remember. Like everythin’. Guess my mind don’t wanna forget again.” 

“Well you wonts forget today will you?” 

“Nu uh. I got a new friends,” I said and smiled at him. 

“Good cuz I ain’t got many friends here.” 

“Well ya do now. And when ya meet Jimmy, my brother, you’ll have one more. I get upset sometimes.. ’cause Jeff and Aspen spend all their time together. And I get jealous for some reason. But he doesn’t really... I dunno. He’s friends with mean ol’ mister Lot. And ma and pa say that Lot’s the one that burned down ma’s office ... that’s why we hadta go to Canada she said.” 

“Ohhh I dunna like HIM.” 

“Oh good, we agree on that then. She said he was the reason we had to go north. And... that’s where I got hurt.” 

“He’s a… well, uncle David says he a donkey.” 

“Last night Downy and Ivy were talkin’bad about us and stuff… And I got real mad cause we started talkin’ back. And Jeff got all mad cause we were sayin bad things bout Lot. But then he was like we okay I jes friends with Lot.” 

“Jeff from school?” 
“I was so mad when I got home though. I jes… He makes me so mad sometimes.” 

“Uncle says to stay away from Mr Lot.” 

“Ma and Pa do too. You wanna go see my house?” I asked and led the way to our house. 

Bisbee. 

“This is our house,” I said as we climbed up the hill. “See the view here? Can see forever!” 

“Wow! Nice, you must BE rich.” 

“Ma gets paid lots as a detective.” 

I showed him around and told him that Ma was teaching me how to play piano. I told him that Ma wasn’t allowed in the kitchen since she burnt the turkey at Christmas. Shira came in and greeted Buster and he pet the dog nervously. 

When we went upstairs to see the bedroom, Buster said, “I hopes Aunt and Uncle gets me a comfortable bed.” 

“I bet they will. Miss Paisley said they love you so they gonna take care of you.” 

“My Mom loves me too she says, but she says she needs me to be a big man and live here till she is not so poor.” 

“Oh…”
“Yeah.” 

“I don’t remember why I came... Ma says it’s cause some bad orphanage sent me here. Then she said I was in this orphanage and the lady was mean to me. So she said I ran outta there and adopted her.” 

“I know your mom she a nice lady.” 

“Yeah. She’s the best. And pa too,” I said as I went to pet Shira, since she was barking for attention. 

“Although she can be a bit stubborn.” 

“Well.. I should get some readin’ done… It was fun to hang out with you today.” 

“Ok. I was gonna ask you to play another game but ok.” 

“Yeah maybe another time… Jimmy and I gonna go to the stables today. I wanna see my horse... maybe it’ll help me not be ’fraid.” 

“Okay.” 

I went over to hug him and said, “Um.. Buster?” 

“Yeah?” He asked nervously. 

“Do you um... do you got a girlfriend?” 

“Um I was just kidding about that. But no I ain’t.” 

“Okay.” I grinned a bit and nodded. 

“Why?”
“Just wonderin’. Well, thanks for walkin’ me home.” 

“It’s okay. Uncle David says girls need looking after.” 

“You got a good uncle. I should meet him sometime.” I grinned. 

“He use to look at a LOTTA gurls now he just all icky about Aunt Meg.” 

“Did he used to look at my ma?” I giggled. 

“Um Natlalie, you know him. Or you did.” 

“But I don’t ’member him. I sure hope I remember soon. It’s gettin’ frustratin’.” 

“I dunno if he did or not he might have looked at your Ma. He had lots of ladies over to play games.” 

“Ah.” I giggled. “Well... I’ll come find ya later with Jimmy maybe okay?” 

“They made weird noises too.” 

“Yeah ma and pa do too sometimes but not much.” 

“Oh that’s too bad, cuz Uncle is usually in a REAL good mood after the game so is Aunt. They give me candy while they play. I think it’s a game where they both win.” 

“Must be. Well um.. I’ll see ya later ok?” 

“Ok I should leave you to read…” He said and started to walk away. 

“Hey Buster?” 

“Yeah?” 

I went over and gave him a hug and said, “Thanks for makin’ me not as scared ’round the horses..” 

“Hey! whatcha gonna do THAT for?” Buster tried to wiggle free. 

“I jes.. wanted to say thanks.” I blushed beat red as I stepped back. 

“Oh well yer welcome. Why gurls always want to be so cuddly? Ruin being friends like THAT!” 

“It’s a way to show you’re friends, just by huggin’.” I giggled. 

“Well I AIN’T playing no those games like Uncle does EVER.” 

“I weren’t askin’ ya to.” 

“Uncle David and Aunt Meg do that huggin’ and kissin then the go upstairs and play that game. ICK.” 

“We don’t gotta play no game I just…” I sighed. 

“Okay…” 

“Well… Maybe if I just…” I patted his shoulder. “That better?” 

“Yeah that’s okay I guess.” 

“Have a good afternoon. I’ll find ya later.” 

Buster turned then and ran up to give me a quick hug before running out. “YOU better not tell any one I does THAT.” 

I giggled and waved to him as he headed off. 
*** 

Goldfield. 

I walked through the towns a few hours later and heard music playing inside one of the tents. I stopped short though when I saw a big horse and a man walked out, waving to me. I was nervous around the horse and didn’t know if I should recognize him or not. He came over to me and smiled. 

I tilted my head to the side and asked nervously, “Do I... know you?” 

The man shook his head and I said, “Finally. Someone I never met before that I’m s’posed to remember. That’s gettin’ annoyin’.” 

The man knelt down and wrote in the dirt the word ‘JOE’ and pointed to himself. 

I watched him and looked at him. “Joe... You don’t talk, mister Joe?” I asked and he covered his mouth, shaking his head. “You don’t talk and I don’t remember. We’re a good pair. Can you understand though, what I’m sayin’?” I looked at him curiously. 

“Hi there Natalie. Good to see you again,” said a lady as she walked over to us. 

Mr. Joe kept writing in the dirt and wrote out, “I understand you yes.” 

I turned to the woman and said, “Sorry ma’am I... I fell off a horse and don’t remember nothin’ before our trip up north. Ma says it was a couple weeks ago.” 

“Did you see a doctor?” 

“Well... kinda... My uncle Irish is a doctor. A vet doctor.” 

The woman lifted her hand to get the horse to come and I watched carefully, sneaking behind Mr. Joe. 

“You are Natalie? You not remember?” Mr. Joe wrote in the dirt. 

“I am Natalie, yeah. I’m startin’ to remember... When I’m readin’ books, I remember their stories. Or when I read the stuff I wrote for the paper, I remember the facts but I don’t remember writin’ it…” 

Mr. Joe nodded and listened and then wrote, “I can help… I promise not to hurt you.” 

“You can?!” I looked at him with wide eyes and he nodded. “But… how?” I asked, looking over at the lady curiously. 

The woman touched the horse and got it to lay down as he looked over at us. “Aye, Irish and Enola are my neighbours in the canyon.” 

“That my aunt and uncle,” I said to her with a smile and said to Joe, “No one’s been able to help me. They just say it takes time.” 

Mr. Joe reached into a pouch and showed me some weeds and what looked like grass. The lady looked over and asked, “You have herbs to help her?” 

“Herbs... that’s gonna help? Grass?” I looked between them and still watched the horse cautiously. 

Mr. Joe nodded and took out a small book of paper and wrote out something and handed it to the lady, but I couldn’t read it. The lady’s eyes brightened when she read the note. “Really now, that is very interesting,” she said. “I have studied them a bit myself. Would you use Gingko Bilboa?” 

I reached over for Mr. Joe’s hand, feeling more and more nervous about what they’re going to try. 

“Aye no be afraid of this one Natalie,” the lady said. “He was trained to protect, not to harm. He has seen few battles.” She looked at him and said, “My name is Jade. It’s nice to meet you. Aye, I not sure how quite read this. I was in Orient as child for brief time but can’t remember its writings. It’s been so long.” 

I saw Mr. Lot and Miss Ivy walk out of a house then and shrunk more behind Mr. Joe, afraid of them and the big horse. I didn’t remember Mr. Lot’s appearance but I figured it out because he was with Miss Ivy. 

Mr. Joe wrote on the paper again and handed it to Miss Jade who said, “Maybe we can compare notes one time. I find what herbs can do very fascinating.” She looked at me and said, “You’re safe. We would not let nothing hurt you. They have get through this big black horse before they got you Natalie.” 

“Horse hurt me already. Made me lose everything in my head and I’ll never get it back!” I cried. 

“Aye, you cannot think all horses are same Natalie. Be like saying all people are same,” she said. 

I folded my arms across my chest and looked at the woman. “You ever been thrown off a horse, ma’am?” 

Mr. Joe wrote a note for me and showed me. It read, “Hi Natalie. I am monk who would like help you remember. I have herbs and medicine that can help you.” 

“I’ll try anything. I just wanna get back to normal.” I nodded to him. 

“Aye they know a lot that could you I give it try, Natalie.” 

“You can come too Ma’am, if ya don’t bring ya horse.” I looked at her. 

Mr. Joe wrote another note and it said, “Do you know place we can go?” 

I thought about it and said, “Hmm... yeah. There’s um... there’s a clinic tent nearby. I saw it on the way to uncle Irish’s. You gonna come too, Miss Jade? Maybe you both can help me get it back.” 

“Aye, I be interested in what is going use.” 

“Okay come this way.” I said and led the way to the army clinic tent in Goldfield. I looked at Mr. Joe and asked, “Do I gotta sit on a bed here?” 

Mr. Joe nodded and made a motion for her to sit down, so I did. I looked between him and Miss Jade and said, “I sure hope this works…” 

Mr. Joe removed his hat and took out a small pouch and a box from his belt. He looked to find a pot of water on the nearby stove and a bowl. He filled it with warm water and added powder and some herbs to the bowl. 

“Do I gotta meditate or sing or somethin’?” I asked curiously and Miss Jade said she had to go so she left me in the care of Mr. Joe. 

Mr. Joe shook his head and motioned for me to close my eyes as he soaked a small cloth in the water. He took out a small bundle of herbs and lay them on the coat near me as he took the warm cloth, squeezing out the water, and folded it gently on my head. I sighed contentedly as he struck a match and lit the herb bundle and began to make a throttle noise as he waved the burning herbs around me so that I could inhale the scent. He took some cream and applied small amounts to my forehead and temples. 

I inhaled the smell and felt the cream and my spirit started to calm. Mr. Joe lay his hand gently on my forehead, chanting some sort of chant as he continued to wave the burning herbs around my head and let a towel absorb the liquid into my skin. I felt my whole body relaxing and things started to flicker back slowly. 

Mr. Joe finished his prayer and removed the towel from my forehead. He took one single needle and gently tapped it into place into my skin on my forehead and adjusted it until it stood on end. I barely felt the needle as I started to remember images, but I was too scared to talk until he was finished.

He took a small vial of oil from the little box and placed little dots of it on my forehead, then rubbed softly until it was absorbed into my skin. I felt myself go between being awake and sleepy, but the images were still there as I watched myself fall off the horse and then I shuddered a bit in the bed. 

Mr. Joe watched me and caressed my shoulder. Then he removed the single needle and put it back into the box, dropping the burning herbs into the bowl of water. 

I shuddered more as I remembered being thrown from the horse. Then I remembered standing in the street with Ma and Pa and the rock hitting me on my head. I reached out into the darkness for something safe to grasp and remembered hiding in the library with Jimmy in the small room upstairs. Mr. Joe tapped on my shoulder and poured some water into a nearby cup. 

I grasped for his hand. “Mister.. Joe…?” I said softly, but everything was coming back to me. Every detail, every face, every name. Mr. Joe took my hand and squeezed it gently. “This tent... we came here on... payroll... I was ridin’… I hid here while they was up on the mountain… Ma and Pa they... They gave us a Christmas tree... but then... bad people stoled our gifts..” 

Mr. Joe handed me a cup of herbal tea and motioned for me to drink it. I drank the tea and sat up in bed so I didn’t spill. “I used to make this... in the clinic... for people who got shot… I didn’t wanna do the job no more ’cause I wanted to just.. be a kid. And so I... decided to help Jeff with the paper.” I blinked and removed the facecloth and looked at Mr. Joe. 

“It’s all back! I remember it all!! I... I remember!” He bowed to me with a smile and clapped his hands together once. I threw my arms around him and said, “Thank you Mister Joe! Thank you!! I... I never coulda remembered... without you.” 

Mr. Joe hugged me gently with a smile as I said, “It ain’t the best things to remember but.... at least I got a house with a family that loves me and I gonna be okay!!” 

Mr. Joe wrote out on a piece of paper and said, “My pleasure little one. It’s why I am here, to help people and bring peace to our world.” 

“Oh, I feel like myself again! I wanna go tell everyone I remember who they are!” I nodded and hugged him again. He helped me stand up and I said, “How can I pay you mister Joe? Maybe I get ma to give you some money. She’s a Pinkerton.” 

Mr. Joe tucked the pouch and box back into his belt and shook his head, writing in the notebook, “No charge..I am here to serve others.” 

I hugged him tighter and said, “Well I gonna introduce you to my ma and pa. They gonna be so happy you fixed me!” 

Mr. Joe saw the Bible on the table and pointed to it as if asking me if I knew it. “Uh huh!! I used to read it all the time when I wasn’t readin’ Sherlock!” 

He smiled big and pat me on the head. Reaching into a small hidden pocket, he removed a small cross on a chain and handed it to me. 

I grinned, taking the chain and said, “Thanks Mister Joe. Every time I look at this I’ll remember how much you helped me remember. I better go find ma!” I exclaimed and ran out of the tent happily, feeling like myself again. 

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