January 2, 1901

Tombstone. 

I ran into town tonight looking for Jeff, calling his name. I ran to knock on the orphanage door and finally opened the door and walked in. “I sorry if I interrupting…” 

Aspen and Miss Abi greeted me and asked if I was okay. “Have you guys seen Jeff?” I asked, but neither of them had. “Danged boy… I heard Lot yellin’ at him last night. And some other guy.” 

“Yellin at Jeff?” Aspen asked. 

“And I guess he was askin him to do somethin for him but I dunno what. And then… I called for Jeff later when the yellin’ was done and…” I swallowed hard and looked at Misss Abi. “Millard said he was dead. He not dead, is he? He can’t be.” 

“That’s malarky,” Aspen commented. 

“Said who was dead?” Miss Abi asked. 

“Millard... he called out ‘Jeff’s dead’.” 

“I talked to Jeffery last night and he was fine,” Aspen said. 

I sighed with relief and looked around. “I’m gonna git Millard. Where’s his bed?” 

“You cannot believe anything that Millard says,” Miss Abi told me. 

“But… Aspen I dunno what I gonna do but… I gonna do somethin’. And he not gonna like it.” 

“About what Natalie?” Aspen asked. 

“Not sure which one is his,” Miss Abi said. 

“It’s the one with the quilt on it,” Aspen said. 

“I’ll put somethin’ in it. I don’t care. He not gonna lie. It ain’t good.” 

“Why are ya mad at Jeff?” Aspen asked. 

“At Mill!” I said and saw Miss Abi come out of the bedrooms, so I ran in. I looked around and asked, “Which quilt?” 

“All his stuff is still on his bed. Come on out, Natalie,” Miss Abi told me.

“But… He’s a cantankerous brat!! And I’m gonna get him! I’ll get Jimmy to... somethin’.” I walked out with a sigh back into the lobby. 

“Who Millard?” Aspen asked. “Well, gittin even ain’t gonna help things any.. Trust me.” 

“Well let’s go see if we can find out anything,” Miss Abi said. 

“Why not?” I asked, trying the boy’s door again. “Would make me feel better and make him feel bad for lyin’” 

“It just makes it werse,” Aspen said. 

“Then he’ll say he’s sorry. And if he don’t I’ll keep doin’ it Till he does.” 

“Don’t count on a sorry. I just ignore him.” 

“You two come with me we will see what we can find out,” Miss Abi said then. 

“Yes miss Abi,” I said. “I not gonna ignore him. He a cantankerous fool and he not gettin’ away with it!” 

We walked outside and I shouted, “Millard Dewey come out of hiding!!!” 

“I find it odd Jeff ain’t here yet,” Aspen said. 

“See?” I nodded to Aspen with worry.

“MISS PAISLEY ARE YOU THERE?” Miss Abi shouted as we neared Annie’s. 

“I saw her at the oriental. They playin games or dancin or somethin,” I said. 

“Kristoff?” Miss Abi asked the marshal who was leaning against the post in front of the sheriff’s office. 

“He drunk or sleepin miss Abi. Wouldn’t answer me neither,” I told her. 

“I see that now.” 

We went to the Oriental and asked Miss Paisley if she’d seen Jeff, but she hadn’t seen him since yesterday. 

“I’m sure he fine just... Danged cantakerous millard ain’t gonna be,” I muttered. “Miss Abi I gonna go back outside. I forgot I not s’posed to go in there but I was with Miss Abi,” I told Aspen and she nodded. 

“Mildew needs a good lesson,” Aspen said. 

“I’m gonna git him for this. If it’s the last thing I do.” 

“I was gonna leave cause of him… But decided I have other friends too.” 

“You were? Cause of Mill?” 

“Yes but its settled pretty much now. I just ignore him.” 

I folded my arms across my chest and said, “I kinda sorta um… Told my pa that I…” I looked down. 

“What?” Aspen looked confused. 

“Had a dream bout Jeff,” I whispered to Aspen. “So if he’s hurt…” 

“Oh. You can’t hurt someone thru a dream Natalie.” 

“Nooooo that’s not what I mean. I had a dream bout me and Jeff. We were uh…” I shifted in my seat and she giggled. “So if he hurt… Or in trouble.. I gonna skin Millard’s hide.” 

“Aww I’m sure he’s fine. I didn’t know you like Jeffery that way.” 

“It a secret,” I said and put a finger to my lips as Mr. and Mrs. Starling came over. Miss Abi came over too and Mr. Jimmi asked what we were up to today. Miss Abi said that we were trying to find Jeff. 

“I’m gonna skin Millard’s hide,” I muttered. 

“I think Millard was trying to get a rise out of you Nat.” 

“Well I’m gonna get a rise out of him.” I kicked a stone. 

We continued to talk and Mr. Jimmi talked about Mr. Lot using a trough for gardening and I said something under my breath. Mr. Jimmi said he hoped I was saying something good about Mr. Lot and Aspen promised me that Mr. Lot and Jeff were good friends. 

“They better be. Cause if I find out they not…" 

“My girls are very defensive of the boys at the orphanage,” Miss Abi explained. 

“Mr Lot has a good heart, not always in the right place at the right time, but its a good heart all the same,” Mr. Jimmi promised. 

“And if he really was just yellin at him in a good way last night…” I said. 

“Well, if so we’ll have to push them in the water trough,” Aspen suggested. 

“Yeah we will, Aspen Like we gonna do to Mill.” 

“Mr. Lot said I talk too much,” Aspen said. 

“No you don’t.” Miss Abi shook her head. 

“Does he mean talking lots of words or talking out of turn?” Mr. Jimmi asked. 

“He said kids shud be seen and not heard and looked right at me,” Aspen said. 

“Push him in the lake next time, Aspen,” I told her. 

“But... we was teasin him purty bad that day too.” 

“Not nice of him to talk to ya like that.” 

“Children should talk when spoken to and not interrupt elders,” Mr. Jimmi said. “You know he is a lawyer?” 

“And an outlaw,” I muttered and avoided eye contact with Mr. Jimmi. 

“Yes, he is a lawyer and a Judge. he knows what he is talking about. You think a little more about him now Aspen?” 

“I don’t think he likes kids much,” Miss Abi said. 

“I didn’t think nothin’ bad about him Sir,” Aspen said. 

I sighed, not wanting to hear about Mr. Lot. I walked off to the orphanage and sat down on the bench near the pond, throwing a rock into the water. I felt a bit better as the loud noise was made and stared into the water. 

Aspen and Miss Abi came over and Aspen sat down next to me, patting my back. I blinked at the contact and looked over to them. 

“We will get to the bottom of it Nat,” Miss Abi promised. 

“I don’t like bein toyed with, Miss Abi. Or lied to. ’specially not about a boy I ... am friends with..” 

“I know honey.” 

“Boys will say things sometimes,” Aspen said. 

“I know Mr Lot’s a bad guy,” I said. 

“I don’t like being around people who obviously don’t like kids either,” Miss Abi said. “I would much rather be around you kids.” 

“Pa told me to watch out for him and stay away. And about the other bad people that I not s’posed to talk to. Cause he don’t want us to get hurt.” 

“Yes be careful around Lot.” 

“So I won’t sit there and let mister Jimmi go on bout how good he is. I ain’t gonna hear it. He’s a liar too, just like mister Lot, if he’s sayin Lot’s a good person.” 

“Well Jimmi may be as bad a Lot.” 

I grinned as Miss Abi agreed and said, “Miss Abi.. What do they think, that we just stupid? Not s’posed to think for ourselves? I’m gonna be a teenager soon, ya know…” 

“Lot tends to try to get you kids to do things you are not supposed to do.” 

“See? And that’s what I scared he was doin to Jeff.” 

“You have a mind of your own and your own ideas and thoughts.” 

“Cause he was sayin how he was a good boy. For doin whatever he said… And then Mill said he was dead. So I put it together.” 

“I don’t trust him.” 

“Well now I don’t trust Jimmi no more either.” I sighed. 

“I don’t know Jimmi well enough to trust him or not trust him.” 

“I think you’re blowin it all outta proportion,” Aspen said. 

“I don’t think so. Miss Abi agrees,” I said. 

“I don’t think Lot is a bad person.. and I ain’t a liar.. and I know from what my pa said is boys will be boys,” Aspen said. 

“So you sayin my pa’s a liar?” I asked. 

“No, not at all.” 

“Nat different people have different opinions of Lot. That is all she meant,” Miss Abi said. 

“I didn’t see where you said anythin about your pa,” Aspen said. 

“I said my pa warned me ’bout stayin ’ away from Lot. And other people in his club. Cause they not good people,” I told them. 

“Oh, I missed that. Sorry.” 

“It okay. I just mad. Not at you.” 

“I understand.” 

“Aspen she is not mad at you,” Miss Abi said. “She is mad about what happened last night.” 

“I understand that too… But I talked to Jeffery last night and nothin was said about anything being wrong.” She looked at Miss Abi and said, “And he woulda told me.” 

“Well that’s good then,” I said. “Mill’s gonna get his cantankerous tushy whopped then.” 

“I hope I’m there to see that.” Aspen giggled. 

“I want to watch.” Miss Abi giggled too. 

“I will take photos.” 

“We’ll put it in the Bee.” 

“Yeah! that will really piss him off!” Aspen said and covered her mouth. 

“Then we will just have to piss him off.” Miss Abi said and handed Aspen two pennies. “You can put those in the jar for both of us.” 

“And here I was gonna say tushy.” I giggled as Aspen ran into the orphanage to put the pennies in the jar. “Hey Miss Abi? Thanks for bein so good with us kids.” 

“I think Jeffery will be at the party tonight,” Miss Abi said then. 

“Oh yeah, there’s a party ain’t there?” 

We talked about the dance and what we were going to wear for it and I said I was going to sit and plan my revenge on Millard. They went into the orphanage and I went down the street, finding Mr. Chris. I leaned against him, having a bad and frustrating day. Mr. Chris was talking with Mr. Jy and Miss Jess and I waited until they were quiet for a while. 

“Mr Chris can I ask you a question?” I looked at him. 

“Sure you can.” 

“Is Mr Jimmi and Mr Lot good guys?” 

“Depends on your definition of ‘good’.” Mr. Chris chuckled. 

“Are they good people? Like… Do they do crimes and stuff and lie…?” 

“Lot you have to be careful. He is both,” Mr. Jy said. 

“Pa said I had to be careful around Lot. He said that Lot was a bad guy and told me bout all his friends. But then last night I heard him yellin at Jeffrey and tellin him to do somethin.” 

“Lot can be good at times.” 

“And then… When I was yellin for Jeff, Mill yelled back that he was dead. Now I know he weren’t cause Aspen seen him since. But… Then today…” 

“Don’t let him hear you saying that he is good,” Miss Jess told me. 

“I was mutterin about Mr Lot around Mr Jimmi… And Mr Jimmi said that Mr Lot had a good heart underneath it all and was a good person. So he make my pa sound like a liar.” 

“You see my guns Nat?” Mr. Jy asked and I nodded. “Lot made them for me.”

“He did?” 

“Yes, he is good.” 

“Good?? But…” I looked around, confused. 

"He can be both. I know it is confusing but he does both bad and good things.” 

“But then how I know who to trust?” 

“You have to ask others, like now.” 

“Nat let me explain it to you, Mr Lot can be good when it benefits him or his friends, but don’t trust him cause he can turn on you in the blink of an eye,” Miss Jess explained. 

“Well and Pa says that I gotta be careful round him too.” I nodded to Miss Jess. 

“Yes, you have to be careful,” Mr. Jy agreed. 

“Best advice I can give is hope for the best in people, but prepare for the worst,” Mr. Chris advised. 

“Most the time Mr jimmi is a good and decent man but he listens to the bad guys sometimes and lets them sway his decisions,” Miss Jess said. “Does that help?” 

I nodded to her and a woman came over saying that she could help out in the clinic if she was needed. Miss talked with her about being a doctor and then said, “And Miss Natalie comes in and observes when it is not to busy.”

“Well not as much anymore,” I told her. “I work for the Bee now. It keeps me busy too.” 

“That is a good thing too.” 

“Uh huh. I wrote a thing bout New Years Eve. And got pictures. So you gotta look out for that.” 

“Wow, that sounds wonderful.” 

“I got to dance with the rangers cause I go with them on payroll.” 

“There are a lot of cute boys in the rangers.” Miss Jess laughed. 

“Lots of cute boys other places too,” I said with a blush. 

“Not many around right now,” Mr. Jy said. 

“I’m gonna go see if I can find my brother,” I said then and found Jimmy down the street. I told him we had to talk and we rode out to our hideout. 

Benson. 

We rode over to the caves in Benson and we sat down inside. I felt safer seeing Jimmy’s gun. “What’s up sis?” Jimmy asked. 

“Alright so… Last night I was in town with Pa… And we heard Mr Lot shoutin’ at Jeff somewhere in the street. Somethin’ about him bein’ a good boy and stuff.” 

“Okay…” 

“So I started to get scared... Cause Pa warned us to be careful around Mr Lot and his friends, right?” 

“Yep, he sure did.” 

“Well so.... I didn’t like the idea of Jeff doin stuff for him… Anyway… It gets worse..” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Cause then I ran out of the saloon and looked ’round for Jeff.... But I couldn’t find him so I shouted for his name. Thenn… Millard shouted that Jeff was dead!!” 

“He didn’t!” 

“Yeah he did! But then today… I was talkin to Aspen and Miss Abi bout it….” 

“So is Jeffery ok?” 

“They said he just foolin me and that Aspen saw Jeff last night and he’s fine. But… I still don’t like it. And I mad at Millard. Cause he lied at me. So I gonna whip his cantankerous hide for lyin’. Till he says sorry.” 

“No fightin sis… you know ma and pa wont like it.” Jimmy chuckled. 

“I don’t care. He’s gonna get his butt whipped and I’m gonna put somethin in his bed and….” 

“No sis!! You will get in trouble for doing something to Millard. Just let it go, cause there is nothing we can do about it.” 

“I don’t WANNA let it go! He lied, Jimmy. He lied. And now Mr Jimmi Rubble is sayin that Mr Lot’s a good guy. And I won’t stand fer it!” 

“Sis, I ain’t letting you get in trouble for something Millard did… I know he lied, but everybody lies...you gonna whip everyone in town?” 

“Well if they all gonna tell lies about Jeff then YA!!” I folded my arms across my chest. 

“SIS! Don’t make me go tell ma and pa what you are up to! I am spose to look out fer ya...and I am going to.” 

“Yeah but... I gonna find out what’s goin on with Jeff, Jimmy. I swear it. And I gonna yell at Millard, even if I don’t do nothin’ bad to him.” 

“Well yeah, that’s okay… but don’t be tryin to fight Millard...he biggern you, and I would have to shoot him in tha butt if he tryin hurt ya.” 

“Well I know that but… It ain’t fair, dang it. They can’t just tease me to get a rise out of me cause I’m gonna go make a rise out of him.” 

“Well I know that, and no you ain’t...you gonna behave or I go get pa, and he make you behave...I don’t want my sister gettin into fights with other boys, that’s my job.” 

“That ain’t fair. I’m not just some girl who plays with dolls and cooks. I gonna stand up for what I believe in. And I don’t believe in tellin’ lies and risin’ people!!” I sighed.

“But sis...yore a girl...you spose to be nice and clean, and behave like girls spose to...now me, I a dirty ole boy who plays in dirt, shoots wild things and gets into fights.” 

“Ma told me I had to make you not get into fights. And to protect you. I’m the one who’s gotta…” I shook my head, starting to get upset. “I just wanna talk to Jeff!! I wanna make sure he okay.” 

“That’s fine sis, but leave Millard out of it...no sense in gettin into trouble over him...if we see him, then maybe I can shoot him in the butt.” 

“I don’t think he should joke bout that Jimmy, and neither does miss Abi.” 

“Then let Miss Abi take care of it...she is in charge of Millard...you know what ma and pa said about if they caught you fightin again.” 

“When was I fightin’ before???” 

“I dunno...but you know what ma and pa said...we gotta behave, or we not get to go out an play anymore.” Jimmy took aim and shot at one with his BB gun, but missed. “DAMN they are hard to hit.” 

“Alright let’s get outta here and see if we can go to the orphanage.” 

“Yeah, before we get covered in bat poop,” he said and we headed home.