January 5, 1901

Tombstone. 

I walked down the street this morning and talked with Mr. Joe. He didn’t make much sense though ‘cause he’d been drinking and then he asked about my family and if we were okay. I told him about how ma and pa went to church and how God was gonna help us be safe. 

“Well if ya believe that, then I guess that’s fine,” Mr. Joe frowned and wrinkled his nose. 

“You don’t believe in God mister Joe?” I looked at him. 

“I don’t believe God helps folks. I believe he expects folks to sort themselves out.” He shrugged. 

“But.... if that were true we’d all be a mess. Mister Chris talked ’bout the guys who were in the furnace and ’cause God helped ’em, they didn’t feel the fire. Or the disciples were with Jesus on the boat and cause Jesus made the storm go away, then they were safe.” 

“As I said Natalie, ya believe what ya believe, but I will make my own way, and god can judge me afterwards, I don’t want any help.” 

“I guess everyone gets to choose what they believe.” 

“Indeed and of ya get ten preachers they will all tell ya something slightly different from the same text.” He sighed. “Then ya have church against church.” 

“Nu uh. Ma said that every sermon spoke the same thing to her yesterday. She said that God was tellin’ her not to be afraid ’cause God loves her.” 

“Well if that helps Natalie, I ain’t gonner disagree with ya.” Mr. Joe paused. “So tell me this, and maybe you should ask your preacher, if everybody believes in the same god, and the bible, why do we have so many different types of churches and preachers.” 

“I guess that’s a good question…” I shrugged. 

“Indeed, it’s a question I ponder on a lot. In the end ya only need a Bible and no church.” 

Miss Bianca came over then andI turned towards her. “Miss Bianca, how come we got so many different churches?” 

“Because lot of people believe in God a different way,” Miss Binaca said and threw a snowball at Mr. Joe. 

“Hey!” Mr. Joe yelled. “Crazy damn woman,” he muttered. 

“Well no…” Miss Bianca said. 

“Mr Joe says all we need is a bible and no church,” I said. 

“Yes it is when they fight.” Mr. Joe looked at me. 

“See?” I folded my arms, confused. 

“Look at protestants and catholics fighting.” 

“Joe people would keep their religious beliefs to them selves then no one would fight,” Miss Bianca said. 

“Then we don’t need church,” I said. 

“Indeed, all ya need is an open space for people to meet,” Mr. Joe said. 

“So we could be in church right now? Cause we’re talkin’ bout God?” 

“Ya do realize that the richest people are those that run churches,” Mr. Joe said. 

“Ya think Mr Chris and Miss Pet and Brother D are rich?” I asked. 

“Natalie man kind need something to believe in to give them some kind of hope....look at the natives...they believe in nature,” Miss Bianca said and I nodded. 

“Well… Could you and ya mum build a place as big as the churches here and in Bisbee?” Mr. Joe rubbed his chin. 

“Probably. Ma and pa probably get paid lots by workin for law don’t they?” 

“In England some of the biggest landowners are the churches,” Mr. Joe said. 

“We all have to find that one thing...rather is be God or nature...that gives us hope and peace of mind,” Miss Bianca told me. 

“That ain’t so bad though is it? That just means that they wanna give their money to God.” 

“I would rather the money to build a church went to the poor.” Mr. Joe looked at me. 

“But what if the church gives places for the poor to sleep in?” 

“And what does god want with money?” Mr. Joe snorted. “He wants faith not trinkets.” 

“To be given to the poor,” I said after some thought. 

“So how much do the churches give here to the poor then,” Mr. Joe said slowly. 

“I dunno…." I should shifted on my feet. 

“Maybe ya should ask Natalie,” Mr. Joe said slowly and looked at Miss Bianca. “Where ya get the snow from.” 

“I was up in the mountains,” Miss Bianca said. 

“Ain’t your hand cold?” I asked. 

“Looking for a place to swim since you wont let me going swimming in the river.” 

“Don’t mind me, I am always cynical when I am sober,” Mr. Joe said and shook his head. “Ya crazy lady.” 

We continued to talk and I wondered if I should leave them alone but they said that it was okay that I stay. I suggested giving him some whiskey so that he could be nicer and then a man walked over who said he was a Deputy Sheriff and his name was Karl. We talked about what he did for work and about how I hadn’t seen Angel in a few days. We talked about how he wanted to be a prosecutor and Mr. Joe and Miss Bianca continued to banter back and forth. I told him about my pa and then headed to the library. 

***

I walked over to the saloon tonight where Mr. Cas was playing music. Everyone greeted me and I joined them dancing as Miss Aly served drinks behind the bar. I stayed quiet while I danced, letting the talk go around me. It was fun to just dance and laugh and talk with the big people. Jeff and Millard were there too, so that helped me feel less by myself. Miss Aly gave me a glass of lemonade when I was finished dancing and it tasted real good and tangy. 

Jimmy came in eventually and I was so excited he was there. He drank some lemonade with me and we talked about what we did today. We talked about church and Jimmy wanted to know the difference between the different types of churches. Miss Rikki said it was like the Hatfields and the McCoys and I didn’t really understand what she meant. Miss Paisley said that the important thing to remember was that each religion believed in something important to them. We talked about Ma being at Miss Aly’s wedding and when the contest was over for who was best dressed in the theme of the night, we headed home. 

Bisbee. 

Jimmy said on the way home that he wanted to show me something and we walked up to our room. “So what you wanna show me?” 

“Sis you gotta promise me not to tell anyone about this.” Jimmy took something out from under his bed. It was something that had a rag wrapped around it. 

“But.... what is it?” I blinked, looking at him. 

“This is what it is,” Jimmy said as he nervously and I saw the gold nugget in his hand. 

“Wow! It’s so perty!!! Where’d you get THAT??” 

“Well that’s just it. I found something weird walking around today. I found a weird looking box sticking partly out of the ground, and there was this and a bunch of coins in it.” 

“Wow!!! Jimmy that’s gotta be worth a whole bunch!” 

“I dunno. The coins were in bags, like you see in a bank. I wonder if it wasn’t one of them things you see on stagecoaches they carry money in.” 

“Well you better not take that to the bank or tell no one you got it or they’ll steal it.” I nodded to him. 

“I know. But what do I do with it? I mean what if it belongs to the bank, or someone here in town. What if someone stole it, buried it then never came back for it?” 

“I think you should hide it under your bed and not tell no one.” 

“What if ma and pa find it? I don’t want no one thinking I stole it. Maybe I should put it back, or you think I should tell ma and pa. They might know who it belong to.” 

“Well if it was out in the street then it don’t belong to no one. They’d know better than to hide it out in the street if they really wanted it.” 

“Well that’s true, maybe whoever buried it, died and could never get back to get it… I mean theres a lot of money. I cant carry it all. I will have to get biscuit my horse to carry it all.” 

“Yeah it’s so much money... Maybe you should bring it to the bank and get Miss Bree to take care of it for you. But don’t tell no one you found it and make sure no one sees ya take it there.” 

“Yeah maybe I should..I wonder what this nugget is worth...gotta be like I bet 5 or 10 dollars wouldn’t you think?” 

“I dunno!! Somethin’ like that but man Jimmy think of what ya could buy with all that! Maybe you could get food for Biscuit and make sure he never goes hungry!” 

“Yeah, I might could...maybe I could buy ma some cookin lessons so she not burn the house down.” Jimmy chuckled. 

“Well she can get that fer free from Miss Pet.” I giggled and tickled him.

Jimmy laughed and tickled me back. “Well maybe I can get some good books on being a vet like Mr. Cole.” 

“Uh huh that’s a good idea too,” I said, yawning a bit. “I think I’m gonna go to sleep. It’s gettin’ late.” 

Jimmy stretched and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah I think I go to bed too sis. I love you.” 

“Love you too brother,” I said and curled into bed.