July 21, 1900

Tombstone. 

This morning I wandered into the hotel and saw two men with Pet. I ran to hug Mr. Alex and he asked, “How are you doing, Sherlock?” 

“I told the class all about Sherlock at school,” I told him. “Jimmy and I were the first ones there.” 

I looked between the others and Pet offered me a cookie as we met the other people. One man had a bird on his shoulder and Alex told me, “You should eat something besides cookies too, Nat.” 

I shuddered, hiding against Alex’s leg as I pointed at the bird. “What’s wrong?” he looked down at me. 

“Raven,” I shuddered. 

“Yes, It’s a Raven. And my name is Cravens. Ben Cravens,” the man with the raven said. 

“Don’t think I have time for breakfast this morning,” Alex said then. 

“But Mr. Alex…” I frowned. 

As they continued talking, I felt more uneasy about the raven and then was relieved when the raven was gone. Alex told us he had a patient in the next county over to see and he hugged me before walking out of the hotel. 

“The Raven’s not gonna get me is it?” I asked Adriana. 

“What raven are you talking about Nat?” she asked. 

“No, the raven isn’t going to get you, Nat,” Alex promised before he left. 

“Already had breakfast little Miss?” Adriana looked at me and I shook my head. “How about some pancakes?” 

“No breakfast in there. Not with raven,” I shook my head. 

“I am going to make sure there is no raven, little Lady,” she sighed. 

“‘And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall be lifted- nevermore!’” I quoted Poe’s poem. 

“Damn! Someone else can read,” Ben muttered. “Oh don’t be fearful of that silly ol bird..why it’s as harmless as the mans who’s shoulder it sets upon.” 

“But ravens they…” I started. 

“Oh Nat… it is a poem,” Adrianna said. “It is not meant for actions in life. It is.. um… drama.” 

“And Mr. Poe wrote… And… Nevermore!!” I cried. 

“Mr Poe is sure enough nothing to read for you yet,” Adriana said. “You are still too young for that kind of books.” 

“I read everything!!” I insisted. “When the other girls were mean, I went and hid with a book.” I hid against Mr. Ben ‘cause he was the only man I knew there now. 

“Nat, lil one?” Susan asked then. “If I lifted my finger and went pow pow would that hurt you?” 

“Is that the raven little Nat is scared of?” Adriana pointed to the raven on the other Ben’s shoulder. 

“Well kiddo..I’ll make certain that lil parrot dont hur ya none..why I could shoot its eyes out from umm fifty feet in flight,” Ben Stolen said. 

“Mmhmm, so far it seems harmless,” Pet assured. 

“But Mr. Poe wrote…” I started again. 

“Never ya mind what he done wrote..it’s all just a fairy tale anyways,” Ben insisted “I got folks writen stuff bout me all the time..ain’t worth the paper its printed on ya know.” 

“I it is. I first went to the graveyard and was looking at the tombstones there,” Adriana said. “And then I found a nice tour guide to tell me all those sad stories and brought me to the garden of remembrance. I have to say, I was deeply touched, really.” 

“Like um... Cinderella?” I asked. 

Ben Cravens finished his meal and I asked Mr. Ben to introduce everyone to me. He said the woman was Miss Susan and introduced everyone else too. As the man with the raven came out, I backed up and hid again and cried out, “Nevermore!” 

“Miss, you don’t have anything to be frightened about. It’s just like a big blackbird,” Ben looked at me. 

“See Nat? Lately this raven even ate cornbread out on the table. Don’t be silly, it is a good bird.” 

“See ain’t that what I done told ya?” Mr. Ben asked and I ran through the kitchen to the dining room. 

“That is just some of Mr Poe’s work. He wrote much more, but I have to admit, I have named the raven ‘Poe’,” Cravens said and I sat down at the table and pulled my knees up. 

Adriana came into the dining room and assured that the raven was gone. She started to prepare my breakfast of pancakes while she sang in the kitchen and then brought them out. I heard laughing in the front of the hotel and thought to myself the raven must really be gone. Adriana brought out the food and gave it to me and I asked her why adults thought kids didn’t know anything. I told her that when the kids were mean at the other place, I would read in the big person library ‘cause I was bored with the stuff at the orphanage. We talked about Miss Trin and how she had lots of work to do. We talked about how I went to school with Jimmy and how I sat on the boy’s side of the room so he wouldn’t be alone. I told her all about school and she told me that she liked to sing and cook. 

I asked for another cookie and she asked how many I’d had and I told her I’d had two. She said, “All good things count three… or so they say.” 

“But…” I giggled. “A mommy and a daddy and…?” 

“A sister or a brother?” she guessed. “And if you have a mommy and a daddy then you are their kiddo. Makes three.” 

“I guess..” 

“I am sure you will find a good family some day,” she smiled and patted my hair. “That is not true, Nat.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“There are enough people out there searching for a girl like you.” 

Sabi came into the dining hall and I told her, “There was a raven here. I looked at it. That means I’m gonna die.” 

“A raven?” she asked as Adriana went to the front to help someone. “Whys that mean you are gonna die?” 

“Cause Mr. Poe said that anyone who looks at the raven becomes nevermore!” 

“Who is Mr Poe? Is he a new undertaker?” 

“Mr. Poe’s a writer.” I saw Mr. Ben walk in and said, “Mr Ben is gonna keep me safe.” 

“Ohhhhh like tha Sherlock guy?” Sabi asked. 

“But different,” I nodded. “He writes poems.” 

“So how does he know yer gonna die?” 

“They’re like short books. Cause.... but wait… Miss... um.... the teacher lady said… ‘Believe half of what you read’, right?” 

“Miss Tracy?” she asked. 

“So maybe I’m not gonna.” 

“Nat, ya ain’t gonna die. God wouldn’t let that happen to ya,” Sabi insisted. “And he is a pretty powerful fella!” 

“Nat! told you you are not going to die!” Adriana shouted from the kitchen and walked out. “Listen, young Miss Nat. Reading is not about being scared.” 

“But Miss Adri… I told Sabi just now Miss Tracy said… and…” 

“Reading is about fantasy,” Adriana said. “About going on a journey all by yourself while you sit on a chair, lay in your bed or under an apple tree. Reading gives you wings to fly.” 

“But how do you know which half to believe and which half not to?” 

“There is no half to believe.” 

“But that’s what Miss Tracy said!” I folded my arms across my stomach and looked defiant. 

“There is a half to let yourself fall into.” 

“That sounds skeery,” Sabi said. 

“I don’t understand how teachers make you girls scared….” Adriana muttered. 

“No she said…” I started. “She said that in the newspapers. You couldn’t believe everything. But then… How much can you? What if it’s all just fantasy? What if…?” 

“Well, in the newspapers... that is a different story. See…” Adriana said as I looked down. “People tell stories as they see them and look at them. So their opinion does not have to be your opinion.” 

“But how do you know???” I cried. “Miss Pet!” I called out to the preacher lady as Adri tried to dry my tears.

“Yes? Did ya see a spider?” Pet ran in. 

“No reason to cry on, young lady,” Adriana insisted. 

“Miss Pet… Is the bible fantasy?” I asked. 

“Nope.” 

“But can we believe everything of it or just half?” 

“You can believe it all.” 

“But… A big whale?” 

“Um, big fish…” 

“A man walking on the water?” 

“Oooh yeah, it happened!” 

“A bunch of lions and…” 

“Two men walking on water,” Pet corrected. 

“But… But Miss Pet Miss Tracy said… and then Miss Adri said…” I looked down, confused. 

“Oooh yep. I find it interesting about the kids who teased the old, balding prophet,” Pet said. 

“I don’t get it,” I frowned. 

“It is simple, young lady,” Adri said. 

“But it’s NOT simple!” I cried. 

Pet sat down with me and said, “There there. You don’t have to be upset, sweetie.” 

“But what if…” 

“Yanno what I think Nat?” Sabi asked. 

“Ahhhh I see what’s going on here….” Pet said then. 

“Miss Tracy said we could only believe half of what we read,” I said. 

“Bible… Um… I believe what miss Pet tells me, “Ben said.

“So if we can only believe half then not all of it must be true right? So how do we know what’s true and what’s just... um.... fantasy?” 

Pet lifted my face up and I looked into her eyes as another man nearby said, “Yes she is wise in here words.” 

“I got this thing about not believing anything till I done seen it with my own two eyes,” Ben said. 

“Miss Pet always knows what to say when she helps people,” Chris said. 

Pet put her hand over my heart and said, “Belief about God doesn’t start like regular book learnin. It starts way down here, in your heart. You cant ask others if or what they believe to be true. ‘cause God give you a good working brain and heart for you to evaluate things. For you to say they is good or bad. Understand?” 

“But how do you know how to evalumate things?” 

“He really does want you to use yours.... I was about your age when I realized God was real,” Pet said. 

“Evaluate,” Adriana muttered a correction. 

“Oh I believe he’s real Miss Pet… I ain’t questionin’ that.” 

“Now that’s the hard part…” Pet smiled. 

“It’s just… Have you read the Bible Miss Pet? God’s mean sometimes. Like the raven. People couldn’t look at him or they’d die.” 

“Hmm… I have read the bible thru and thru. God is not mean... he is just!” 

“Just what??” I blinked. 

“Just. it kinda means always knowing the right thing to do, what is best. What is needed. Just. It also means forthright! Not just always right, but bring Righteousness always and all ways.” 

“Why doesn’t it just say right then?” I pouted. 

“Cause God loves to play ‘hide and seek’. You have to ‘find Him’ in everything. Even in His love letter to us, the Bible.” 

I heard them talking about Mr. Ben shooting someone and then I looked at him. “You said you shot birds.” 

“We’ll resume this talk later kids.. um Nat, please come inside, just in case,” Pet said to me. 

“But miss Pet,” I looked back.” 

“Only the bad type birds,” Ben nodded to me. 

“Inside NOW young Missy,” Pet ordered and I followed her inside, jumping as Adriana pulled on the dinner bell. 

Adriana came over to me and asked if I was alright and I shrugged. Pet decided to take us for a walk with Adriana and we went to a creek near the church so we wouldn’t have to see any more shooting. I ran ahead but then stopped and ran back, sitting on the bench. I realized Miss Adri and Pet weren’t wearing guns and wondered if we would be safe. Penny and another man came over and I felt a bit better as we talked about Pet looked over at me and said, “Oooh Nat. Guess what?” 

“What?” I asked and then said, “I mean um… Yes ma’am?” 

“I know a little story.... It’s a story about how there’s good ravens in the world. Wanna hear it?” 

“It’s from the Bible isn’t it?” I asked. 

“It’s a good’n. Let’s just say, its from... history for now.” 

“About um... Elisha or Elijah or… one of those. I never remember who is who. Why couldn’t they just make different names?” 

“Elijah, mmhmm. So you know the story?” 

“They’re not even brothers are they?” 

“Their names are different,” Pet said. 

“No, I would like to hear it,” Penny said. 

I climbed up on the bridge and Pet said, “Well, since you know the story Nat, why don’t you tell it?” 

“I’ll tell it from here!” I exclaimed. “Ok so…” 

“You have our undivided attention tell-taler,” Pet said. 

I began to tell the story like I was preaching, like miss Pet. “Elijah was a guy that trusted God and God helped him. The place where he lived wasn’t a very good place. There was this bad king guy and he was evil. He also had this bad wife.” I tried to remember from Sunday School form the other town and went on. “God told Elijah to tell them that he was better than their um.... idols, Miss Pet?” 

“Idols! That’s the word!” Pet nodded encouragingly. 

“So,” I smiled proudly. “Elijah had to go tell the king there wouldn’t be any rain. Until Elijah said so. And the king’s god he... was the one who was in charge of the weather, right Miss Pet?” When she frowned I asked, “Did I mess up somewhere?” 

“The King’s Ggod controlling the weather. Does that sound right? Or did the King ‘think’ his god could control the weather?” Pet shook her head. 

“I guess he thought,” I said and she nodded proudly. “So… After that... God told Elijah to go hide. But while there was no rain God made sure he had what he needed. And then this raven brought him bread and stuff. The end,” I said and ran back over to Pet. 

“Now do YOU believe that happened?” Pet asked me. 

“Ya done pretty good. More stuff happened. But it was a good account of the overall.” 

“I um… well… I guess I believe it,” I said, noticing a man came over who was wearing a poncho. “But that’s cos God was good to Elijah. That’s easy to believe.” 

“That he was,” Pet giggled. “He’s also good to us. Now if you was starvin and ravens brought you pies to eat, would you be afraid of the ravens?” 

I ran over to miss Adriana and asked her, “Do you believe it Miss Adri?” I looked back over at Pet and said, “But Miss Pet… God’s not always nice. Like the ravens aren’t always nice.” 

“Do they talk Miss Pet?” Sabi asked. 

“In a way, all creatures talk.” 

“You just have to calm and listen to them,” the man said. 

“I think you are right Miss Pet,” Sabi nodded. 

I blinked and ran back to hide behind Ben. He looked at me and asked, “Huh? What’s the matter kiddo?”

“She said Ravens talk,” I said. 

“Like Pawsie, she don’t speak no english but we always seem ta know whats goin on with the other…” Sabi said. 

“It’s just a story kiddo..ain’t no bird that can talk,” Ben promised. 

“But… They brought bread to Elijah. How’d they know?” 

“They squawk,” Ben said. 

I remembered how I almost got adopted but the woman I was going to be my mom got shot in front of me because she didn’t have a gun, and the ravens came over her body. “But Mr. Ben…” I started. 

“Nat, did something bad happen to someone you really, really, loved?” Pet asked me then and I started to cry.

I buried my face against Ben’s leg and Ben put an arm around me as best he could. I held onto him and he said, “Maybe ya’ll ain’t talk bout birds no more,” he suggested. 

“Mr Ben…?” I asked. 

“No more ravens today,” Pet promised. 

“It be alright, kid,” Ben promised. 

“Could you um... take me to the orphanij?” I asked him. I was anxious to go but I didn’t know the way yet. 

“Sure.” 

We walked towards the orphanage and I found Jimmy sitting in the swing outside of the front door. I ran over there and hugged him tight as Ben said, “Here we are, kiddo. Ya gonna be alright now.” 

“Hey Natalie, hello sir,” Jimmy looked up. 

“Hi Jimmy….” I said emotionally. 

“Wha wrong with Natalie?” he asked. 

“Tanks Mr. Ben,” I nuzzled against him. 

“I’ll see ya later Nat...any troubles ya come find me ya hear, I ain’t let no harm come ta ya,” he promised and ruffed my hair up before hurrying off. 

“The ravens, Jimmy... They… Jimmy can I sit on the swing with you?” 

“Come sit, tell me.” 

“There was a raven at the hotel. And I remembered the poem Mr Poe wrote about the raven that whenever someone looked at it they died… and then Miss Pet and Miss Adri said that it was just fantasy. And I remembered Miss Tracy telling us yesterday that we should only believe half of what we read. So then I asked Miss Pet if the bible was all true and she said there was some good ravens in the Bible and I remembered Elijah. So we went to the creek and I told them about the story of how the ravens fed Elijah. But then there started to be people coming and Mr Ben and the other guy were looking around And I got scared cos Miss Pet and Adri and Penny weren’t wearin’ guns. Like the lady that almost became my mommy. And then the ravens came over her body cause they killed her And I didn’t want it to happen to Mis Pet and Miss Adri. So I started to cry and Mr Ben took me here,” I said and finally took a deep breath. 

“I don wan no one die either...I like the lady at Russ,” Jimmi frowned. 

“But… Mr Ben said he’d protect me. I bet he’ll protect you too.” 

“I protect us Natalie,” Jimmy reached into his back pocket and took out a slingshot. 

“No more ravens?” I beamed and thought about how Jimmy was the only one who could call me Natalie. 

“Pa used to say I could knowk the feathers off a wooster runnin.” He squeezed my boot and said, “It will be ok...I got my slingshot, I choot those raven birds, we have raven pie.” I giggled and we sat on the swing talking.